Chiquitita
by Amanda Yates
Summary: Written for a prompt, Prompt : I want to see Merlin snap, where he doesn't feel like dealing with anything anymore - Arthur's mood swings, his destiny, being an unrecognized servant... He finally breaks and storms off. Arthur panics. He must work his ass off to win Merlin back. Don't mind the weird title, Arthur/Merlin, T for now but M soon.


**This was written for this prompt in Kink Me,**

**Prompt : I want to see Merlin snap, where he doesn't feel like dealing with anything anymore - Arthur's mood swings, his destiny, being an unrecognized servant... He finally breaks and storms off. Arthur panics. He must work his ass off to win Merlin back.**

**Title is based on the song Chiquitita by ABBA,**

_Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong?  
You're enchained by your own sorrow  
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow  
How I hate to see you like this  
There is no way you can deny it  
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet_

Set after Gwaine and Goblin's Gold in season 3 although you could take it as Gwaine as the episode before Goblin's Gold, it has to be that way for my story to work!

**Chiquitita**

"Can you be any _more_ useless Merlin?"

Merlin turned around from where he was tying the horses already thinking on a quick reply when Arthur threw something that hit him right on the forehead. "Oww!" Merlin said taking his hand to rub at the site where Arthur had thrown a stone at him, as he looked down at his feet where the stone lay. When he drew his hand away Merlin saw that he was bleeding but Arthur didn't seem to care though he was looking and said "I told you take three of the best crossbows and you bring me this!" Arthur shoved the crossbow at Merlin.

Merlin looked at it before he asked "Why? What's wrong with these?"

Arthur looked at Merlin like he was the greatest idiot on the planet before he answered, "What's wrong with them is that they can't be used to hunt a rabbit, never mind a boar!"

Merlin looked confused before he retorted, "Well these were the only one's available in the armory, your knights took all the others! Why don't you hunt rabbits instead?"

Arthur looked furious and threw the crossbows at Merlin one by one which all hit Merlin at different places before he said "My father expects me to bring back a boar for the feast in honor of Lord Hector! I have to face my father's disappointment because you're dimwitted self doesn't know to bring me a good crossbow!"

Before Merlin could say anything Arthur turned around and mounted his stallion ignoring the way Merlin was spluttering. "You're going back to Camelot? Now?"

Arthur didn't answer, just kicked his horse into moving forward trotting away leaving Merlin with the tent and the supplies he had set up along with his own mare.

It only got worse for Merlin because as soon as he was in Camelot, he was thrown in the stocks under the Prince's orders and was being pillaged with rotten fruits for the better part of the day. Gaius had bandaged the wound on his head but it didn't help any as some of the throws fell directly on the wound which gave him a pounding headache for the rest of the day and he had accidentally spilled wine over Arthur's shirt while serving dinner which only made Arthur even more angry with Merlin and Merlin had endured and very long and very loud tirade which did nothing to help Merlin's headache.

All this was happening too soon for Merlin who had just recovered from the Goblin incident and Gaius accusing him of sorcery to the King. Merlin knew it was not Gaius, knew it wasn't Gaius speaking but hearing his mentor condemning him to a sure death had been painful nonetheless. While he was in the dungeons neither Arthur nor Gwen came to visit him and despite himself he felt hurt and unappreciated. All that he ever did was for Arthur and what did the royal pratface do, nothing but drive Merlin around the bend. By the time he reached his chambers Merlin was so exhausted he collapsed on the bed without removing his boots or neckscarf.

The next day Arthur's mood hadn't improved and he had been left with the task of polishing the entire royal armory belonging to all the knights of Camelot, the squires and servants of the knights being exempted from the duty, atleast last time it was boots and he had Gwaine with him, Gwaine who was fun and considered Merlin a friend and had made the task a lot less lonely although he had dumped most of the work on Merlin.

Arthur came to check on his progress that afternoon and as soon as he spotted Merlin he sauntered over like the arrogant prat he was and said "Dear God Merlin, how _slow _could you be?"

Merlin looked up looking incredulous but Arthur didn't acknowledge him as he continued his degradation of Merlin's capabilities as a servant and his general uselessness, worthlessness and absolute incompetency in everything he did, "How could I trust you with my men's armor during battle?"

"That's why you have other squires and servants for, for each individual knight actually! So you wouldn't actually have to rely on my polishing skills!" retorted Merlin cheekily which seemed to further Arthur's temper more, honestly Merlin had no idea why the Prince was so angry with him ever since the goblin fiasco was over.

"How many times do I have to say you don't get to talk to me like that? Any other master would have you flogged until you can't sit on your little bottom! Ever!"

"So why don't you do it then?" shouted Merlin because he was annoyed beyond all reason and tired, so tired to being pushed around, of being unrecognized, of being thought as an idiot, of not being worthy to be a friend to a man whose life he had saved more times than he could remember, of being in a place where his life was constantly under risk, of seeing his kind suffer under the hands of a tyrant king who deserved nothing but Merlin's pure rage and hatred, of polishing shoes and armor and being on Arthur's beck and call when he could be so much more, of being in love with someone who could and would never love him back. The last one was the thing that made Merlin hurt the most, in his innermost heart of hearts Merlin loved Arthur, though he never told anyone or even thought about it himself as he knew that way lay sure madness.

Arthur gaped for a moment unsure but his arrogant look returned and he said "You think I won't do it Merlin? You think I won't have you flogged? Well think again, you've been annoying me for a whole week now, lagging in your duties, I'd be considered soft if I didn't hand out appropriate punishment to my servant!"

Merlin snorted and before he could stop, he blurted "Don't worry Sire, I wouldn't know a single person in Camelot who thinks you are soft" Merlin made sure to emphasize the word soft.

Arthur narrowed his eyes and said "That's it Merlin! I'm ordering you to be flogged! Ten lashes!"

Merlin though he knew Arthur was an utter clotpole could not believe Arthur had just said that and gaped at him before he said "What? Arthur, you can't do that! I didn't even do anything wrong!"

Arthur smirked cruelly before saying "As a matter of fact Merlin, I can have you flogged and since throwing you in the dungeons or the stocks have not seemed to get through to you no matter what! I'm the Prince of Camelot, what I say here is law, next to the kings words mine holds most power here!"

Merlin truly hated Arthur then and before he smiled bitterly before looking up at Arthur saying "Then I fear for Camelot's citizens when and if you become King!"

Arthur's eyes flashed in something resembling hurt and Merlin regretted his choice of words for a minute before he told himself that Arthur was being intentionally cruel to Merlin without even a proper reason and had threatened to have him flogged for pity's sake and refused to look anything but defiant as Arthur said in a cold voice "Why you little! You'd regret saying that Merlin! You will pay for insulting your prince! I'm making it twenty lashes. And what do you mean if I become king! Of course I will be King!"

Merlin had had enough, his magic was just brimming inside him waiting to be left out and unleash holy hell upon anyone who crossed his path. He closed his eyes to will his power away before he opened them and said "I refuse! I will not accept this punishment Arthur!"

Arthur looked so uncaring and the hard glint in his eyes made something curl up and die inside Merlin as his chest ached with his grief and pain which he had kept at bay for so long, Merlin wanted to take a deep breath but kept looking at Arthur who said "If you don't I'll have the guards drag you there! If you don't accept the punishment you will no longer be my servant!"

Merlin screeched "Sack me then! If I'm so useless to you then find someone else to put up with your shit! Oh I know! You could ask Gwen to be my replacement! I'm sure you'll both be thrilled!" Merlin hated himself for sounding jealous but oh was he jealous of Gwen. Arthur was so different with her, so kind, so loving it hurt to see them both together because there was something infinitely _tender _about their relationship that Merlin knew he would never achieve with Arthur, no matter if they were destined to unite Albion.

No, Merlin had to bear the brunt of Arthur's temper, he had to see Arthur at his worst when Arthur was sometimes simply human and not a man who had the weight of the whole world on his shoulders and yet he endured Arthur's cruelty and harshness while repeatedly saving his life and getting no credit for it. He was hurting, so much in fact that the next thing slipped out of his mouth almost without his will, "Until you remember sometime, that Gwen is also a servant and therefore below your station!"

Arthur visibly clenched his teeth, "Do not being Guinevere into this, she is nothing like you! I love her! While you! You are insolent, clumsy, and useless! It really shouldn't come as a surprise to you that you'll be _nothing more_ than a servant to me Merlin! Not even a servant from now on! I will not put up with your disrespect any longer!"

Merlin couldn't contain the rage that erupted in him along with the hurt at Arthur's proclamation of his love for Guinevere, it was probably the most horrible time to reveal it and Merlin would admit to it, later when his anger had cooled and he didn't feel like a thousand hot arrows were piercing his heart, Merlin's eyes flashed golden and Arthur was thrown off his feet and suspended against the wall, Merlin had been so consumed with rage that when Arthur opened his mouth to call the guards no sound came at all.

Arthur looked at Merlin then and at the unnatural color of Merlin's eyes and felt frightened of Merlin for the first time, he felt hurt and angered that Merlin would betray him so, he refused to show it masking it with rage as Merlin walked over to him quietly, "You are such an ungrateful heinous idiot Arthur! I have saved your life with my magic more times than I can count risking my neck for you day in and day out and all you think I am is an idiot! I have to see my kin be killed by your bastard father while he sits and gloats when I can kill him and bring this castle down to rubbles with the barest shake of my hands! No more Arthur, no matter what the dragon or Gaius says I'm done with this life, I'm done protecting you against your enemies when you don't even think me worthy of being your friend! I'm done with following my twisted destiny!"

Arthur heard all this with dawning recognition, all the times he had made it out alive when the odds were against him, all those times he had thought it was a stroke of luck, he couldn't fathom Merlin being the one who had rescued him when Arthur knew for sure that he would not escape.

Merlin breathed in and out having gotten that all out and then made a motion with his hand that made Arthur gain his voice again which he immediately used to screech, "You betrayed me! You betrayed Camelot Sorcerer! I should have you executed!"

Merlin turned away from Arthur, hearing Arthur sound so much like his father finally shattered Merlin's hopes that magic will be welcomed in Camelot when Arthur became King and he masked all his hurt and pain and with a closed off and cold expression he turned around and faced Arthur who had not yet called the guards, "You know Arthur, I always believed that you would be a great King, a better man than your father but now I finally realize that I was wrong, you're just as arrogant, entitled and cruel as him and….' Merlin laughed a little hysterically which made Arthur frown as he worked to conceal how much Merlin's words were hurting him, 'so so stupid that you don't even know to distinguish your allies from your enemies!"

Merlin took a step back and said calmly "I am no longer your ally Arthur, I'm no longer vested in my destiny, and I'm no longer a citizen of Camelot!"

Arthur was too shocked by all these sudden revelations to protest and ask Merlin just what he thought he was doing but Merlin had spelled his mouth shut again.

Merlin looked at Arthur suspended against the wall by Merlin's magic and just for a minute he let Arthur see all the hurt and pain he felt and before Arthur could say anything Merlin vanished right in front of his eyes.

Arthur fell to the floor and grasped at the thin air where Merlin had stood moments ago, he could not help but feel a sense of dread and hopelessness and misery as he started to realize what the implications of Merlin not being there meant, not only to him, but to Gaius, Gwen and all of Camelot.

A month passed and then another and there was no sign of Merlin at all, Arthur went about his duties mechanically, he had not taken another manservant and now a group of chambermaids and servants cleaned his rooms, prepared his bath, served him but he dressed himself, he had never felt comfortable with anyone dressing him other than Merlin.

For the first few days after Merlin's disappearance Arthur had been angry and hurt and refused to acknowledge that he may need Merlin in any way though he did not go to Uther, he did not want Knights sent out with a bounty on Merlin's head, Uther would make an example of him and Arthur could not do it no matter how wounded and betrayed he felt.

It was a week after Merlin left that Arthur felt the beginnings of something being wrong with his life, he had refused to admit it had anything to do with Merlin and went out hunting with his knights, disappeared for hours at a time with Gwen, dragged Morgana into fights though she didn't respond nearly as much as she did before she got kidnapped, mostly she just looked and treated him like an annoyance, like she couldn't be bothered with him anymore which honestly hurt as he had searched for her day and night for a year and it made him think about another person who had told him he did not want to bother with Arthur anymore.

He ran the Knights ragged with their practice sessions, he was growing rude to the nobles when forced to attend feasts and banquets, his father had to pull him and lecture him to not act like this for nothing more than a mere servant telling him in his no nonsense tone that he was not to be acting like an undignified noble anymore and to stop his sulking right bloody now before it created discord among Uther's trusted Lords and but a bad reputation on Arthur's name and the Pendragon dynasty.

Gwen's looks turned more and more sympathetic although there was a hint of disapproval in it even now because Arthur had revealed to her in vague terms of what had happened between him and Merlin excluding the part of Merlin being a sorcerer all along.

Leon pulled him away from training once and asked him "Are you alright Arthur?"

Arthur nodded and stepped away deciding that he should really learn to hide his emotions well, it would not do for his Knights to see him weak but as the days passed by Leon did not stop giving him concerned looks every now and again no matter what Arthur did.

The servants especially the kitchen maids had turned against him when they heard that Merlin had left because of a row between him and the prince. It was common knowledge that Arthur had been hard on Merlin ever since the goblin incident and a few servants glared at him and sometimes sent him bitter or a day's old bread instead of the fresh ones. He grudgingly bore it all without complaining knowing the servants could get into trouble if he made any accusation against them.

It was the third week after Merlin left Camelot that Arthur felt courageous enough to approach Gaius who had been giving him barely veiled disapproving looks ever since Merlin left or vanished in his case, at first Arthur had been furious at the Court Physician and had been itching for a fight but then his anger simmered and in the following days he felt more hurt because of Merlin's comments, about how Arthur had made Merlin loose his faith in Arthur though he still steadfastly maintained that Merlin was not that important anyway.

Gaius looked up from his brewing raising an eyebrow and saying "Sire, what can I do for you?"

The tone of his voice was polite and inquiring but Arthur knew he had disappointed Gaius anyway, "I'm here to talk about Merlin."

"Ah!" was all Gaius said his face not giving away a hint of what he was feeling at the moment.

"How long have you known he was a sorcerer?"

Gaius hesitated for a whole minute before he answered "Since the day he came to Camelot, he saved my life when he first came here."

Merlin seemed to be a hero in his own sense; only without taking credit or fame for all that he had done which made Arthur realize just how much of a little person he was when compared to Merlin. Merlin who was humble and chose to suffer all the insults and abuses Arthur lent him when he could have so easily killed Arthur, but instead chose to save him at every turn.

Arthur cleared his throat before asking what he had come here to ask "Is he alright Gaius? Do you know where he is?"

Gaius frowned and carefully said "Arthur, he chose to leave of his own accord, he won't come back and he's made that clear to me but he is fine where he is and I'm honor bound to keep his location secret."

"I understand Gaius, if you communicate with him…..tell him…tell him I wish him happiness wherever he is now!"

It was when Merlin's disappearance made the two month mark that Arthur felt literally heavy with the weight of his guilt and missing Merlin like he'd lost a limb. He could not pretend that everything was alright anymore because nothing was, nothing was right in his world when Merlin was not beside him to tease him, to put him down when he needed it, to humble him and make him feel worthy of himself, and to constantly goad him into being a better person than he was.

Nothing helped to distract him from the gaping emptiness he felt, not training with his knights, not annoying Morgana who seemed to have had a change of heart and humored him some of the times now, not listening to boring councils for hours on end, not hunting for days in the woods, hell even kissing Gwen felt all wrong and made him burn with guilt though he had no reason to be and he ended up avoiding her most of the time, hiding away in a nook or convenient lie whenever he crossed paths with her and he knew Gwen was suspecting he was deliberately avoiding her as well.

When he couldn't take it anymore he shut himself in his rooms and refused to come out for three days no matter who knocked at his door. On the fourth day just as he was debating getting up from his bed that he heard the door to his chambers being pounded on hard, there were two more pounds before the door was broken and the King strode inside looking absolutely enraged.

After Uther had unleashed his fury on Arthur and made Arthur feel like a five year old who'd been caught trying to get into the dungeons Uther sat beside him and said "This has to stop Arthur! The whole kingdom thinks you've been mind addled because of your attachment to your servant!"

"I'm sorry father" repeated Arthur for the twenty fifth time that day as all the fight seemed to be drained out of him and he slumped.

Uther then did something he rarely did and squeezed Arthur's shoulders, "It's quite alright, I know how the loss of a loved one can be!"

Arthur frowned not knowing where this was going until Uther squeezed his shoulder again and said "You are a Pendragon Arthur and you must stop sulking and act in a way befitting a Pendragon, I cannot get my love back though I wish it more than anything in the world, but you….you can because he is still alive, find him, I'll give you two weeks and you'll return with him."

Arthur sputtered before he smiled incredulously at Uther "Firstly father, I am not in love with _Merlin_! And I doubt he's going to want to come back, I went too far" admitted Arthur quietly.

Uther only seemed put upon humming before rising with all the dignity of a king and said "Two weeks Arthur, drag him back if you have to, I won't have you acting out of your mind just because you are lovesick!"

"I AM NOT LOVESICK!" shouted Arthur with an indignant expression on his face.

It was Gwen who came in next and Arthur smiled reluctantly a bit ashamed of having avoided her and Gwen smiled back saying "I'm happy you've decided to come out again."

Arthur nodded, "I have to sometime, it's not like he's going to come back again and if for nothing else I'll have to prove I'm not head over heels in love with him as my father and my knights think!"

Gwen remained silent and Arthur observed for a minute before pointing an accusing finger in her direction, "You think I love him too!"

Gwen sighed before quickly stammering "I don't know Arthur…you've never been as nasty to him before you saw him with Gwaine and at the time I didn't think anything of it but then you started being really horrible and Merlin was so distraught he couldn't figure out that maybe you were just…jealous…."

"I was not jealous!" Arthur said a little too quickly and Gwen looked dubious. Arthur remembered what she was talking about of course, how could he forget, the memories were still vivid in his mind, Gwaine's hand roaming Merlin's body as he devoured Merlin's mouth against the stable walls, he remembered the burning fury he had felt then and the urge to rip Gwaine apart and feeling so hurt and betrayed though he'd had no reason to feel that way and he saw his hands had clenched of their own accord and took a deep breath as the weight of his own revelation sank in.

"Oh no! Oh God! I can't believe I didn't realize it before!" he said as he sat down on his bed with his head in his hands bent over in his misery and regret at what he had lost.

"Oh Arthur!" said Gwen and Arthur looked up at her seeing her sympathetic face made him more guilty as he realized he had dragged her into this as well.

"I'm so sorry Gwen, I didn't know, I didn't comprehend…"

Gwen sighed before coming forward and resting her hand atop Arthur's head of golden hair, "Arthur, I love you, I do but me and you…..we just aren't meant to be, we could never be happy when you long for Merlin and I still hold the candle for…."

"Lancelot" Arthur finished and strangely he didn't feel hurt or angry or betrayed because he'd been a fool and not realized that he had let the most important person in his life slip through his hands.

"What do I do now Gwen? I've lost him because of my arrogance and foolhardiness!"

"Arthur, he loves you! I know he does! You…you should go after him, you both are not complete without each other and I'm sure Merlin misses you as acutely as you do him, just don't mess it up this time."

Arthur nodded his head and gave her a wan smile.

Arthur went to Gaius again and before Gaius could say anything he said "I want to know where Merlin is Gaius" he was not in the mood to dither and Gaius seemed to understand.

"Last I heard he was in Olaf's kingdom with…' Gaius hesitated for a second before saying 'Gwaine"

Of course bloody Gwaine would go with Merlin; Arthur gritted his teeth and asked one more thing "Why did you tell me Gaius?"

"You said last time when you came to talk to me about Merlin than you wished him happiness Arthur, Merlin is like a son to me and I know he'd be happy only if he were by your side."

Arthur couldn't help but ask, "Why didn't you tell me then?"

Gaius smiled at him truly for the first time in a long time before saying "Then you weren't ready to fight for him."

Arthur nodded with a determined glint in his eyes as he strode out, he was Arthur Pendragon and he would get his love back no matter what.

**TBC guys….**

**Hopefully, next chap will be up tomorrow and it's a two parter! REVIEW!**


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